Morp 1993

Morp 1993

Age: Eighteen

           

            At the time, I received many compliments on the dress. Two years ago, I lent it to a girlfriend for a faux prom party and today, my three year old daughter wears it around the house.

I actually tailored it to her little body, stitches and all, because the safety pins could not withstand her constant motion. Then, I decided to pull out the video yearbook of my senior year. I was certain that my princess-obsessed girl would get a kick out of her mom as a snow queen wearing “the dress.” I was right. She could not believe that her mom was a real princess with a real crown. Somehow, that made her feel even more special wearing mom’s old dress.

The video was priceless and brought back countless memories. We all sported big bangs, thick eyebrows and that early 1990’s fashion. And even though our physiques were thin, the youthful baby fat was still evident.

As a teenager, I fell into the unfortunate trap of trying to fit in, wanting to be liked and life’s immature, emotional ups and downs. Shocking, I know. I still remember feeling sad that I was not nominated for the homecoming court at my school. Those girls were lucky enough to be involved in pep fests, football games, parades, you name it. I thought it would be so much fun but alas, I was not chosen.

            I was, however, chosen for the snow queen court or, as we called it at my school, “Morp” which was prom spelled backwards. It was okay to be nominated for Morp, but it was no homecoming. Well, that was my initial reaction anyway. But after a few moments of immature comparisons, I decided that being nominated for the event should be considered an honor and that I should rid myself of negative any thoughts. I needed to loosen up and have fun. And the best place to start, was Rosedale mall.

            My mom and sisters were so excited to help me shop and try on dresses that we giggled the whole way to the mall. Once inside, my mom pulled out her map of dress shops and pointed us in the right direction. She had been on a few Caribbean Cruises and knew the best places to buy formal gowns. She was also a former homecoming queen herself and shared with us her fashion knowledge, “it doesn’t matter what it looks like on the rack, try it on anyway…you may be surprised!”

            And she was right. There were some fairly ugly dresses that actually looked good on me once I tried them on. Although, I had one major problem: My eighteen year old body decided that breasts were an optional asset, leaving me with an A cup which made it nearly impossible to fill out any dress. I cursed those A cups until, by some miracle, “the dress” showed up.

            It was strapless and black velvet with a purple sash at the hip. It went down to my knees and fit me like a tight-ass glove. If I was going to wear a strapless gown, it would have to be tight so the damn thing wouldn’t fall off. I knew that airflow would be a problem, but it’s much better than some wardrobe malfunction. I realize that this reference did not exist back then but it is fitting, right?

            The dress was the first hurdle, then came jewelry, shoes and under garments. We pieced together my ensemble and once satisfied, we brought it home where it remained in seclusion until the coronation. Not even my date could see the dress. I enjoyed the element of surprise.

            Ahh..my date. He was the class president my senior year and a tall, good-looking, gay, black man. He did not come out of the closet until after high school, but I can’t say that anyone was too surprised.

            Our date proved to be a great time. We went out with four other couples, ate at the restaurant where my date worked and were given our own banquet room. It paid to have connections.

            Morp was a formal Sadie Hawkins event where a girl invites a guy to the dance, then pays for the dance tickets and finally pays for the dinner and drinks. My date was extremely excited about the occasion and took full advantage of the tradition. He insisted that I pick him up at his house for the date and that I open every door for him, including car doors.

I learned this lesson quickly as I climbed into my driver's seat, adjusted myself and then looked with much surprise at an empty passenger seat. I looked around for my date and finally I spotted him: He was standing outside of his closed car door staring at it with an "I don't think so" look on his face.

What was he doing? I thought. And then it dawned on me. My face went flush as I shook my head, rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Really?” I asked as I stepped out of the car and walked around to his side.

With a sassy smile on his face he replied, “You asked me out, didn’t you?” He smiled as I grabbed his hand and escorted him into the vehicle. For the rest of the evening, I made sure to tend to him in every way possible and he loved every minute of it.

            Prior to the Morp date and dance, the school held a pep fest. We attended class in the morning and the pep fest took place in the afternoon. I remember filling out the ballot for king and queen that morning. There were so many eyes peering over my shoulder when I voted so I made sure to vote for my girlfriend Amy rather than myself. Some people were already calling me names just for being nominated and I didn’t want conceded to be added to the list.

            When the time finally came, I headed to the auditorium and began to get dressed for the pep fest. As I pulled up my dress, I began to laugh. Earlier that morning my mom and I had a conversation where she offered to give me her fake boob inserts for my dress. She was also worried about a wardrobe malfunction and just wanted to take every precaution. I thanked her for her thought but chose to respectfully decline her offer. It would have been quite shocking for me to go from Miss Flat-chested that morning to Miss Cleavage that afternoon; although, my chest was not my largest problem. So to speak.

I so desperately wanted to wear my hair in a cool updo but teenage acne had attacked my body. It wasn’t awful, but it was there and I hated it. I had bumps on both my face and my back. Make-up helped on my face but my back was cursed. Ultimately, I was forced to wear my hair down covering my imperfections. I looked fine but felt a bit disappointed, I had hoped to look better than fine.

            Then there were my nerves. Throughout the homecoming festivities I had hoped to be a part of the royalty but now in my anxious state of hyperventilation, I was thankful that my name was left off the ballot.

At this point in my life, when given the option of fight or flight, my flight instinct persevered. And now, I wanted to leave. The thought of walking out in front of the entire student body made my knees weak. And my school was huge! We had three thousand students and who knows how many staff members. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through this predicament.

            As I nervously lined up to walk the plank, I turned to my friend whom I was escorting and said, “I can’t do this.”

            He gave me an unsympathetic look and said “Whatever Haider, you know you’re going to win.”

            My eyes flared open, I didn’t think I could feel any worse but there it was: I could win. Winning, being crowned queen, meant walking around the gymnasium two times in front of everyone in the entire school. I could not breathe.

            Then, my name was called. This jolted me from my hypnotic spell and we started to walk. I do not remember how I got my legs to work but somehow I was moving forward without collapsing. Speaking of moving, my lips were quivering as though I had spent the last hour in an ice box. What was wrong with me? Then I started to fidget. I needed something to get my mind off my nerves, so I started picking at the rose I was holding. Seconds later the head of the flower flew through the air and hit the ground. Oh my gosh! I did not know why I was acting so crazy.

I decided to search for control and in order to “get a grip” I chose to focus on my destination, the stage. In a few feet I would be safe on the stage and the student body could gawk at the next couple.

            Ahh…we made it. I really wanted to sit down and relax but no such luck. In order to stick with tradition, the girls stood behind their escorts as the guys sat comfortably in a chair. Ten minutes into the pep fest, I would regret my choice to wear such cute high heals. I eventually pulled them off my feet, desperate to regain circulation.

            Feet pain aside, the pep fest was pretty fun. The focus was off me, thank God, and onto theater buffs who performed skits, played musical numbers and participated in a pie eating contest.

            I managed to lighten up for the festivities but then the time came to crown the new king and queen. Winning made me more nervous than not being crowned queen. If I were crowned queen, I would have to walk in front of everyone again and I felt no reason to leave my little comfort zone on the stage.

            The king was crowned first and everyone screamed. Justin was such a likeable guy so the screams seemed entirely appropriate. Then it was time for the queen. The girl crowning the royalty made sure that she dangled the crown over all of our heads just to tease each of us and the crowd. And then I felt it, I felt the crown as it was placed on my head. The video yearbook actually caught my initial reaction which included a smirk and an eye roll as I mouthed the words, “oh, no.” I wasn’t ungrateful for being crowned, I was nervous. Although, my nerves calmed a bit when I heard the crowd cheer in agreement. Then I flashed a huge smile.

            The king and I walked to the middle of the stage and received our robes. Seconds later, we were arm in arm as we walked a final lap around the gymnasium. At that time, I could see my friends and family and their smiling faces, and I began to relax. Finally, I was able to just enjoy myself.

            When the pep fest ended, my friends and family bombarded me with hugs and kisses. We took countless pictures that I still cherish today. The video yearbook even asked me for a statement and I recited the first thing that came to mind: how happy I was to be out of my shoes. Real smooth Haider, real smooth.

            Then I heard my name in the distance. I look around and there was Dig. He was in the band and didn’t have time to stop as they shuffled out of the gym. I waved at him and he gave me a thumbs-up. That Dig, he was so cool.

            Although, the experience caused me a ton of anxiety, watching that video with my daughter made me smile. Sure, the pep fest got the best of me, but the rest of my day was filled with family, friends and fun. It ended up being a great day.